Ganges

   

What a month. My good gosh! 

Theses days of travel have been full of new life, new learning, new friends, & new breakthrough. For the past couple weeks, we were touring through a town on the Gange’s river.

Side note: From a bit of research done & hearing from the locals, the Ganges river is a famous river of historical roots in the Hindu religion. Many people of Hindu beliefs, worship this river, use it for rituals, & come from many places all over India to be “blessed” by and to be purified by it. It is the belief to some Hindus that if one is cremated on the banks of the Gange’s upon death, that person could achieve instant salvation into Heaven. From what I have been told from local new friends made, these events are currently happening along the river today, some areas more than others. 

One day as I walked over the bridge to get to the hostel we would be staying at for about two weeks, I looked down & saw how big this Gange’s river was. Steps and steps leading down where people would swim, take baths, raft, sit, take the water, look over the waters, & sometimes drink from this water too. 

In that moment as I was walking across the the bridge I believe I felt Holy Spirit say “It is time to get baptized Kailey, what do you say?” 

“I think you are right, it is time” I said under my breath. & I left it at that & kept walking. I put it on the back burner & brought it into some prayerful thought the next couple days.

About two days later a friend of mine and I were walking across the bridge & she had said out loud-“you know what would be really cool, if someone were to get baptized in the Gange’s river. You know what, I’m actually gonna pray for that to happen!” In my head I thought, “oh boy, I think that is going to be me that she baptizes!”

But I did not tell her right then. I waited, and prayed about it some more. By the next day, I approached my friend & asked if she would be willing to baptize me in the Gange’s river. Filled with joy, she said “YES!” 

Pause. 

Yes, I know, Baptism is traditionally done when you initially become a believer. & as you may know, I have been a believer for a bit now. So you may be thinking, huh? You never got baptized? Well, no, I was baptized, but I don’t remember how it went. 

From an infants age, I was baptized. But at around age 13-I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ. My mom & Dad encouraged all of us to get baptized (way to go Dad & momma!) as we were teenagers growing up, but between the busyness of school, sports, friends, and other such things, getting baptized kept getting thrown onto the back burner of my priority list. 

Plus, I also had some big questions about it! Why? What’s the purpose? Why should I get baptized again if I was baptized as an infant? When is the right timing? Did I miss the “right timing” since I have been a believer for years now? So, eventually, I kinda just disregarded it. 

Fast forward to my young adult college years, I felt set ablaze to know God more & dive into deeper intimacy with Him. At that time, there was a stirring in my spirit to get baptized. I wanted to do it as an outward declaration of what I had chosen from the inside, to Follow Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior with everything I had, not just 90% but 110% the rest of my life. 

So, I learned about the purpose of Baptism & found it to be wonderful & true. 

I went to a christian college, there were plenty of opportunities there to be baptized.

But I never was proactive about it. 

I went to a wonderful Church, there were countless opportunities there to be baptized. 

I went to the meetings for baptism, but never followed through.

I lived by Lake Michigan, there was more than enough water to be dunked in! 

I talked about getting baptized there with my friends, but never made it happen. 

Later on, I moved to Chicago for my last semester of College & found a home at a wonderful church too, with an opportunity to be baptized then as well. 

But still, I did not jump on the decision to get baptized. 

If there were so many opportunities to be baptized & I had received the education on the purpose, then why was I still hesitant to make that outward declaration? 

At the time I did not know. All I knew is that I kept making excuses on reasons to push it back. 

“I want to wait for my parent’s to be there, because I know it would mean something to them!” 

“Ahhh, I just don’t know if this is my “home church”

“Hmmmm, who should baptize me? How do I know who to choose?” 

“Should I wait to be baptized in a Church that I know I will be planted in for a long time?” 

“Should I get baptized if I already was as an infant?”

“What’s the point now if I am not a “super” new believer?”

It’s funny, that I took the time to go to several baptism meetings throughout the years, yet never followed fully through. Nothing had ever felt quite right then. I couldn’t put a finger on what it exactly was.

Why had I been so hesitant all these years to be baptized even though I knew God was leading me to do that, then all the sudden see the Gange’s river & feel in my spirit that it was time to be baptized? 

After some quality prayer & self reflection I believe I found my answer.

I have received clarity on the goodness of God in a way I hadn’t in the years back. In the past 4 months my mind has been renewed. Burdens have been lifted. I am not carrying the weight I once used to carry on deep, deep, conflicting theological questions I once had. 

In the past, I used to carry so much weight of “I believe in you God but I don’t understand how you can still be good because of ___ and ___ and ___. 

I believe the weight of these big questions scared me to truly show through baptism that I was “all in” because in all honesty, in some ways I felt that I was “all in” with exceptions, as long as I could understand ___ and ___ and ___. 

& I would take my confusion & try to grapple & figure it out myself. In my confusion, I would take God out of the picture, & try to understand alone. It created turmoil for me. It created an even more confused mind. It grieved Holy Spirit. & quite honestly, I wasted a lot of time dwelling & fighting within myself that I never needed to had I invited God into this processes. 

With that being said, in the past 4 months, God has helped me break free from those ways of thinking in which used to send me into spirals of confliction from within. I feel as if I’m flying. I am free. 

This past month especially in India, I made the decision to put another stake in the ground, for the rest of my life. I have chosen to bring any questions, doubts, and confusion to God that may arise in the future, instead of running away. I have chosen to invite him always into everything I am doing & trust that my understanding, is always going to be secondary to His goodness. 

So, it would make sense to me now why I felt in my spirit it was time to be baptize as I crossed over that river last week. That Baptism was an outward declaration on what had happened on the inside of me. I was ready to forever, be all in, confusions and all that may arise in the future. God, you are invited into not just the pretty, but the messy too. 

This Baptism was an outward declaration of:

A covenant I have made to allow God into everything I am and do. Actually, I learning to simply step into what He is already doing around me 🙂 
A covenant to God that I would stay close to Him, no matter my lack of understanding. 
A covenant that I can trust God that He is good, better than I ever will know until eternity. 
A covenant of my love & commitment to him, forever regardless of ANY confusion or confliction within that may arise in the future. 

So, after the rain had slowed one evening, several friends & I grabbed a guitar & headed down to the Gange’s river. We worshiped to Good good Father & Holy Spirit. Amidst all the noise that was going on in the town & rituals taking place. It was a ever so humbling & a glorious time. 

I shared with my friends why I was choosing to do what I was doing. 

Then a friend prayed over me & one comment she said that stood out to me was “God, Kailey heard you amidst all the noise in this world & has chosen to love you with everything she is”. That statement wrecked me. I understood the truth of that statement. This world is so noisy, but through it all there is a melody of a perfect & Good, Good Father, singing over all humanity. I’ve heard that melody & am learning to sing my life & gratitude back to this Good, Good, Father with all that I am. 

Then my friend (the one who had originally prayed to baptize someone), asked me:

“Do you believe in Jesus as your Lord & savior, that he died on the cross for your sins and was raised from the dead to defeat death for you & to give you the free gift of Eternal life? YES! I said trembling, crocodile tears in all. “YES YES YES!” 

Then she dunked me in the water from head to toe. It was cold, refreshing, emotional, & awesome. 

Then, we hugged tight. Then I went home & took a long shower to clean off. 

The old is gone, the new has come. Once was dead to sin, but now made alive in Christ forever. It is the greatest privilege & honor to follow this path. I will never turn back, questions & all are invited to the table with the Father, the Son, & Holy spirit forever. 

It’s never too late to get baptized. & it’s also never too late to learn about the historical truths of God working through the lives of people & His redeeming love for humanity. I can’t help but share these things, it makes me undone! The more I read the Bible & understand the context, the more enlightened I feel. God is way too cool. It is a wild journey friend, the best part is, all are invited. 

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2nd Corinthians 5:20

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” John 3:16-17

“If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved” Romans 10:9-13

“To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.

“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

Thanks for taking a read, many more blogs to come 🙂

With lots of love, 
Kailey