Learning to Dream BIG Again

HEY YOU!!!

Recently I had an opportunity to speak on how God has grown me this year. Though I was a bit nervous, it was a total BLAST & I felt so alive being able to share experiences from this year.

Here is a summary of what I spoke on during an even on the World Race called “Parent Vision Trip”. I do hope you enjoy. 

Coming on the race… it was a rough year…ready or not haha! Let me explain by sharing a bit of my background in 2017.

In 2017 I came back from Chicago, & while I fell in love with this City-there were various circumstances that caused quite a bit of numbness, second hand trauma, and also a bit of personal experienced traumatic situations.

In 2017 There were broken relationships in my life… which led to a spiral of not being good to myself, pouring my heart into people who really didn’t seem to care all that much, which then led to disappointment and a sense of continuous rejection. I was walking in a lack of wise boundaries.. not because I didn’t know better, but because I was honestly apathetic from pain & did not care as much anymore. Can anyone relate?

In 2017 I also struggled with job decisions…there was so much fear and confusion. I was caught up in making the right choice & felt quite a bit lost, conflicted, & scared.

In 2017 I also felt burnt out from ministry & was really struggling to understand the bible in all of it’s context at the time. Though I knew in my head God is good, the true understanding of that in my heart was a real struggle. A question I would silently ask myself is, “IS God really as good as he says he is? There is so much I don’t understand.”

At the time of starting the race… I felt very unready, unsure, and a bit unstable to be really frank. “How am I going to complete this journey?” I thought to myself. “I feel so weighed down”.

Neverless, I arrived to training before we launched off for the World, & there I received a key that someone prayerfully made for me, in which I believe was a message from God in it.

We received these Key necklaces and each key had a word etched in. Someone had prayed over each of us & then etched in whatever word came to mind to encourage us on this journey. My word on the key I received was the word “FLY”

Immediately in that time I felt Holy Spirit say: “Kailey, In order to fly you can’t keep weight you weren’t meant to carry.

To me, this was a promise from God that seemed impossible in the time. It was hard to believe that God would bring me to a place of freedom so much that I would be flying, but I held onto that key & hoped that it would come true in due time.

Month 1 On the race we were in Australia. It was just rough. So many past wounds & hurts & insecurities were arising. My good gosh.

Month 2 On the race we were in Indonesia. It was just rough again… haha!

Month 3 We were in Sri Lanka. This was the start of breakthrough. I couldn’t wallow in pain or insecurities anymore. I was desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Truth, speak, repeat. Speak it out they said..it will change your life they said!! It’s actually true. As you speak truth over yourself, and speak it out until you believe it, it becomes you. Thanks Ari-you helped show me that I am a warrior, and worthy of guarding my heart.

Month 4-India… amazing! Realization of I am starting to FLY! I was baptized in the Ganges, I started to study the Bible like a wild woman. I began to understand so much more about the goodness of God. I was vamped to partake in ministry. I felt like I was coming ALIVE again! I really started to live into these truths:

I am a child of God, free from past shame.
I am a daughter of the king of kings, and am allowed to make mistakes.
I give myself full permission to learn from my mistakes
I refuse to dwell in the lies of the enemies
I say a 100% yes to dwelling in what is true, right, and life giving!!!
I refuse to give the enemy a foothold in my life any longer.
I am steady, I am secure, I am confident, I am free to be me.
I refuse to say anything negative about anything or anyone as much as possible, regardless of mistreatment in the past.
I am a warrior for love!!!

As all this new space and lightness, no longer carrying unintended weight… allowed more space available to DREAM BIG!

Month 5-8 has been a progression of re-discovering what makes me, me & re-discovering how to let the creative juices flow from the inside out. Month 5-8 has been me, starting to truly FLY. 

In month 5-8 I have…

-Realized a HUGE love for blog writing
-Realized a deep desire to share what I am learning
-Realized I am an author in the making… I plan to publish multiple books in my lifetime. Currently working on my latest project called “Dream again”.. coming out in 2019!
-Realized I love connecting with people and learning about others stories. I know have goals to one day soon start an inspirational podcast, interviewing people across the world.
-Realized I love to sing and help lead people into worship. I get nervous now, but in time sure enough, it will become easier and easier.
-Realized I feel called into creating a website as a personal ministry tool for the future to encourage believers & attract non believers to learn about “what an adventure it can be in following Jesus.”

ALSO… I realized that it might sound like that I am in over my head with the dreams that have been laid upon my heart. Publishing a book? I’ve hardly have a clue. Creating a website.. what?! Singing.. oh BOY!!! Podcasting… what’s the first thing to starting. Haha! I don’t really know but I do know that God is faithful to finish what he’s started in my heart, surely.

How am I going to work towards all these Goals? You might think. No worries, this is the motto I stick with “just one step at a time. Choose something and do it well.” 

In summary, God has blown my mind this year. He has blown me away with his Love, healing hands, and mighty power. I thank everyone who is reading this blog, who listened to me speak, and my amazing Squad to have helped me get to where I am today. God is so good & I truly just want to be used by Him in anyway to help show the World that HE is the answer. He is the truth. God is good, He’s better than we can even think. 

Thank you for tuning in, until next time 🙂 

Kailey

P.S. This is my favorite bible verse: “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my