Frustrated & Yet filled with Hope

 

Hola! Buenos Caminos! 

 How are you? I hope this blog post finds you well! 

Currently, 6 friends & I are hiking a famous and historic Pilgrimage called Camino de Santiago. The Camino de Santiago is a network of pilgrimages leading to the place where the remains of James were buried. 

My friends & I are hiking this Camino for a variety of reasons, several being it’s a great time of reflecting on this year & what God has done in each of our hearts, it’s pushing us physically, emotionally & mentally, it’s an incredible opportunity for prayer walking, & also a wonderful place to build new friendships along the way. Given that many people come here who are spiritually seeking for truth-we have a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel & our own personal testimonies.

We are on day 6 of hiking & so far it has been amazing, painful, beautiful, stretching, & engaging all at once.  

Let me share with you some of the details. We hike about 14-16 miles everyday, with our giant packs,(I’ve also got a guitar with me haha!) Some of the views have been breath taking, then other times it appears to look like we are hitchhiking on the side of a road. The villages we pass through are so CUTE! I love the culture & flow of things here. (One day as I passed through a small village, I stopped to eat a snack for a little bit & two kind ladies picking pears from a tree, gave me one! At that same time I decided to play a little bit on the guitar which ended up allowing me to make a few new friends passing by too!)

The first two days rained majority of the hiking, so it was a bit sloppy out there. One of the days, it was ALL up hill hiking. The next day, it was ALL down hill & my knees were throwing a fit-it’s as if I could hear them screaming “why are you doing this to me Kailey?!”.

Don’t worry-i’m exaggerating…sorta LOL! It’s been incredible opportunity & has also made me realize-I could use more fruit of the spirit in self discipline when it comes to consistently working out-that way I can be more prepared for this stuff. Seriously, please hold me accountable to that! 

Neverless, reflecting, praying, the views, chatting with God, meeting new people, and bonding with my team has been wonderful. To give you a quick snap, everyday we start hiking around 7:30 am and finish hiking anywhere around 1-3PM. From there–we race to find the cheapest hostel! In the cities we’ve gone to so far, there are old churches that turned into hostels for the travelers. I love it! After a lot of stretching & checking the area out-maybe a quick nap & warm (or cold) shower, we cook a meal then often chat it up with the other hikers too.

Last night in particular was really cool. I had been chatting with a friend outside & when I walked into the kitchen, I saw most all my friends chatting with other hikers at a table & when I listened in one the conversations-so many of the conversations were intentional, encouraging, & sharing incredible faith stories to the new friends! I was filled with excitement & joy as I saw this happening. One person in particular was so interested in learning more about who this “Jesus” was that we talked about. He was intrigued to find out that we believe to “hear the voice of God” speak to us. We heard a lot of “wow!” “really?” “are you serious?” “that’s amazing!”

& yes, it is so amazing. God is so good & loves everyone in this world so much! It’s times like these that make my heart so incredibly full. What a privilege it is to share our experiences with God in life to those around.

There’s been several other conversations on this hike so far that have truly led me to reflect on how Good God truly is & how much He deserves our praises. 

Seeing so much of the world this year, talking with countless amounts of people, my heart breaking for the brokenness in this world, yet my heart also filling with Joy as I grow in faith-has left me in a state of frustration & hope all at once. 

This wrestle of frustration & hope has seemed to all bubble up as I have been hiking. Below is a glimpse of my heart in that. 

 

I am frustrated. Frustrated with the brokenness in this world. Some people, actually have chosen in their hearts that they want nothing to do with God. My heart cries & prays for these people-that they will change their mind. 

 

I am frustrated. Frustrated with my own ugliness at times. Man, the “flesh” is not that great! Thankfully, Jesus came for those who knew they were broken, not the ones who thought they had it all figured out (Mark 2:17). (this does not mean I don’t love who I am, It means that I am just aware of my own brokenness & that’s ok cuz it doesn’t stop there..I am continuosly being transformed into the Kailey I was always meant to be-full of a heavenly identity! Praise the Lord!

 

I am frustrated. Frustrated that God’s name has been used, abused, spoken out in vain, and mis-represented too many times. Why have so many people decided to twist the truth to make it fitting to how they want? It’s happening in America, it’s happening across the world. It’s happening to people I know & love & people i’ve never met before. It’s been happening for ages upon ages. 

“They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Romans 1:25”

 

I am frustrated. Why couldn’t we see in the first place that following the guidelines God gave us were to bring FREEDOM & to be LIFE GIVING rather than the opposite. Why did it take me so long to understand these things? 

“For God so loved the World He gave his only son, that whoever believes in Him would never perish but have eternal life. He came not to condemn the world, but to save the world. John 3:16-17.”

 

I am frustrated. Frustrated with the deception in this world. The enemy is so sneaky. 

 

I am conflicted. Why is it so hard for people to worship? Deep down I believe people know there is a creator because eternity is set in all of our hearts. Why is there resistance in giving the one who loves us in all our brokenness our everything? Why are people hesitant to seek to know this creator, to know the truth? 

 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11”

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1st Peter 5:6-7”

Deception. Hardness of hearts. Righteousness. Confusion. Hurt. Grief. Misunderstanding.

This is the state of quite a bit of this world.

Yet, there is HOPE. 

I am filled with Hope. Convinced the World is in desperate need to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The father, the Son, the Holy spirit. I’ve been blessed to meet a believer in every country-passionate about sharing the good news. 

“All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name. Psalm 86:9”

 

I am filled with Hope. God has a plan & his intentions are only good. I believe every human on earth is being divinely pursued to rest in the arms of God. Every human is given this opportunity to seek God. God is a righteous judge. He wants people to know Him more than I do & I can lay my worries, my burdens, my concern of people not knowing Him, down at His feet. 

 

I am filled with Hope. Following Jesus is not easy, but it is 1000000000% worth it. Not just one foot in, but all in. It’s walking in a constant tension of hoping for what is not yet seen & praising God regardless of a feeling-more so, it is an act of a tender obedience, a simple gesture of thanks for everything He is. 

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1”

 

Whew!! There you have it. The latest thoughts & prayers of my heart. Friend, God is on the move & always has been. I just want people to know this true love so badly-as I grow in understanding of who God is, it’s as if a deeper well is building inside-desiring to overflow to the world in sharing this news of Jesus Christ to those around. God loves us so much-He really does. 

Lots of love sent your way, 

Kailey b.