That’s a Wrap! Personal Re-Cap

Hey there Loved one! 

It’s for sure been a hot minute since I last updated you & just wow–time fly’s when you hit the ground in the states.

From getting a new little room set up to re-connecting, to taking my sweet time in places and stores i’ve done without this past year-the days go fast. 

I just wrapped up my time at Project Search Light-A time of Debrief and reconnecting with my friends from the race and getting equipped on how to move forward from here on out-using what we learned on the race to put the glory of God on Display. I absolutely loved it. It was about 6 days long, we had sessions and long periods of worship everyday, community meals, and bringing back the rustic times by sleeping on a gym floor. Overall-it was a blast! 

On the way to Debrief down in Georgia-I was able to make a pit stop in Chicago for the day to spend time with a dear friend and mentor of mine, Carrie Robaina (who I will be shortly working for with the ministry called “She Walks in Truth!)

It was a total blast. Real quick cool testimony: As I was waiting on a bench in the train station looking for Carrie-I noticed the man next to me wearing a sweat shirt that said “Not today Satan”. As I looked closer I noticed his bracelets had John 3:16 written all over them and his black hat had little prayer hands in the front. The conversation started out something like this “Hey I like your shirt are you a Christian?” and he said “Yes, yes I am a Christian are you?!” I said “Yes I love Jesus so much-the more I understand who Jesus is the more I fall in love with living this life with God!”

The man looked a but stunned and said something along the lines “I cant believe i’mma actually talking to you about faith in Jesus right now. I love Jesus so much to but all these people be thinking imma just playin wit them wearing this shirt around. I am serious about Jesus-I know its all real!”

We continued chatting and it was just the coolest thing. This man who was encouraged to meet a stranger believer. He went on to tell me that he had been praying to God last night “he desired to talk with a stranger he’s never met before and share about his faith-because that is something he has been fearful to do for a while now but wanted to be more courageous.” 

I went on to learn that he just started taking theology classes to get a degree in Theology and all he desired to share the good news of Jesus Christ to people wherever he went. He said that meeting me was proof to him of how God answers prayers and he said he couldn’t wait to tell his class how specific God had answered that prayer.

I loved it so much & my heart felt like it was going to explode of Joy having been able to encourage this dude! He ended up asking if he could give me a big hug before he left and that is what happened. 

Here is a quick snap of us! I just love seeing people excited about Jesus. It’s so good. Ah!

 

 

Below is a recap on my personal journey throughout each month of the race.

I absolutely loved having you follow along on this journey. As much as I am wrapping up and processing this time, I thought it would be good to share with you my findings/struggles/insights/& breakthroughs too! 

This is my best effort to re-cap my thoughts, feelings, and anticipations each month of the race. By no means, are these all my personal reflections from this year, but it should give you a nice sum up of an overall state of being.

The “Vlog above, is another way to hear about this re-cap. Please do Enjoy. 

Once again, thank you for taking the time to skim through these. It kinda blows my mind that you invest a bit of your day to read on this journey of mine. Super blessed. & I hope that as much as you encourage me, that I too, could encourage you!

Here we go.

Before the race:

My deepest desire in heading out on this journey was to understand God’s heart for this universe, people, and myself in more tangible ways. I desired to be humbled. I desired to gain a fresh perspective. I desired to know the Truth with my own eyes, rather than the lens of others.

I desired for this to be a time that would be foundational to the rest of my life. I desired to grow in discernment, in cross cultural communications, and in maturity. I desired to experience the uniqueness of Jesus Christ in every country we went to. My feelings about the race? Excitement, anxiousness, unequipped, thrilled, scared.

Training camp

It was ROUGH. I was not in a good place emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, as far as I understood. I was full to the brim of doubt and uncertainty. To be real honest, my flesh wanted to get the heck out of her yet my spirit was like STAYYYY!

By the end I was warming up to it. Though I may have just looked like a quiet, shy soul on the outside of training camp, it’s true I was simply covering up my angst and really not myself at all for most the time. Yet still, there is so much grace. Thank you Jesus.

Fundraisers

I had a skate night fundraiser leading up to taking off in January, and guess what. Over $1,000 was raised that night. I was shocked with the support of the community and had a total blast. Thank yo all to who came out.

I had a shopping day fundraiser where an entire store called Seedlings, located in Holland Michigan, volunteered to donate all their sales for that day. What?! Yes you heard it right. That day, I was able to raise over $1,500. What a blessing.

One of my Best Friends Sayde, hosted a little going away party for me, in which I felt so loved on and cared for! Thank you Sayde, means alot!

One of the youth at the refugee settlement I worked for, hosted a dinner event for me, FILLED with traditional food from his home culture. He had every refugee youth go around and share something they appreciated about me. I can’t tell you how special this was and how cherished I felt. To be honest with you, it made it all the more harder to leave!

World Race Launch 

All the feels. I felt so unequipped and soooo unready! It was a, ready or not, here I go! I was so thankful my Momma and Dad came down. Man, I love them so stinking much! I received a key chain necklace that said “Fly” as a prophetic word of encouragement. Immediately, I knew God was telling me that I was going to be letting go of a lot of baggage and weight that had been holding me back for a while. What a relief that was. It filled me with HOPE that I so desperately was needing.

Australia

I was weak at my knees. I was in pain, I was in a state of confusion, all of this surfaced up to the top and I felt lost and the only direction I had was to cling on the Truths of Jesus. I missed home by the second day, I was scared, there was no wifi to call home, I could only turn to the comfort of strangers that were soon going to become great friends, and the comfort of my Heavenly Father.

Day by day, my timidly started to wear off and I started to realize, this adventure, came just in time! A quote toward the end of Australia I found in my journal: “It’s in these times I remember, why my heart feels like it could explode in the best way..feeling and understanding the love of the father towards every person in Australia is refreshing my spirit. I love, loving on people.

Indonesia

I had questions. I was facing internal challenges. I was being tormented by the mistreatment of others in the past & having a hard time forgiving myself for certain choices I had made. I was thinking about how living out a life following Jesus with my whole heart, truly comes with a cost. I was reading about the biblical characters, the ones who struggled too! Yet they persisted in the way of the Lord, because the Loved the Lord sooo much. I was overwhelmed with the amount of idols everywhere. How could so many people over here…never hear the name of Jesus before? 

I was struggling to actually WANT to be all in for God, I was struggling to FIGHT OFF the fleshly desires. I was starting to write more blogs and was beginning to love it. One friend spoke affirmations constantly to me, which helped me grow so much. I was told I was good at connecting with people. I was learning how to speak truth over myself. I was starting to read good Christian faith books. I was pounding a stake in my heart, that God is good, He is better than I think! I could trust in that goodness of God, there was no turning back. I was learning to turn my eyes away from things that don’t really matter and learning to trust in the Lord’s guidance instead.

I was asking God to help me abandon my shameful ways and mentalities, for I was being reminded that His regulations were good and perfect. “I long to walk in the obedience of you God. Renew my life with your goodness”, is a quote I found from a blog I wrote during this time.

Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka was a month of growing in self discipline. Choosing to write declarations of how God sees me and choosing to speak truth over myself on a daily. I was learning to find a good rhythm of quiet time. I was praying like a crazy woman for the country, myself, and the people around the world. I was experiencing tangible results of my mind being renewed by speaking truth over myself. I was yearning to experience the depths of God’s love more and to love with the depths of God’s love for all people I cross paths with. I learned a lot about Buddhism and it broke my heart that people think that is the way to true life because in comparison to the freedom of Jesus-it appeared to be pretty burdensome as we engaged in deep conversations. 

India 

India was a wild time on a spiritual level! It was my most exciting and favorite country yet. I thought to myself, “I can’t believe we actually get to do this! I was fully immersed, fully present, fully wrapped in what was going on in this country. I was in a bit of culture shock.

I was getting a better grasp for the Hindu religion, I was a bit saddened by majority of the traditional beliefs there. I was understanding spiritual atmospheres better, I was growing in a hunger to know God more and to know the scriptures more. I was growing in a hunger to make a greater impact on the lives of others. I was baptized in the Ganges river. I was learning more about the holy spirit.

I was taking bold risks. I was getting excited about seeing people be physically healed by the name and power of Jesus Christ alone. Joy was coming out of me, full throttle. I was claiming over myself that I am a warrior for love. I was asking God to lengthen my spiritual shadow like he did with Paul so that people would be touched by the Love of Jesus as I passed by. I taught someone how to read the bible.

Nepal

Nepal was a lot of mixed feelings. Logistics took up quite a bit of time. Teaching at the school was a challenge for me, as I was working through some insecurities. It was exciting, and a beautiful place to be all at once! 

Tibet

I was sick as a dog. This was probably my least favorite time. I threw up, multiple times a night. I felt like a shriveled up grape. I was overwhelmed my the spiritual atmosphere. It felt so dark and empty.

China

Oh my goodness, this was my hardest month. I kept thinking, “Do I still have this many more months to go? It felt like it had been 2 months in China when it really was only 2 weeks. I felt sleep all the time. I felt uncomfortable.

I felt watched. I felt scared to share the gospel with people because I did not want to get them in trouble. I persisted with intercession for the country and learned a lot about prayer in this time. I did have a conversation with my mentor and it inspired me to dream big as I started to think about future plans.

About half way through I decided there is no use in being fearful-& with the best discernment I had at the time, was able to share the gospel with a several people in private situations.

Kyrgyzstan

What a refreshment this was! Yurt camp had me feeling like a true hippie. It was a much needed change of scenery. I was being refreshed to press on for the next leg of my journey. There was joy in the simple things. I was contemplating traveling longer after the race. I felt so alive and free horse back riding.

Kazakhstan

Man, I was simply exhausted here. I felt so weak. I felt worn out. & I was like wow we still have a really long time to go. Here, I took some time to dream big. I started working on a book idea in my free time. I really enjoyed one on one conversations with several people I met in the area. One gal, in particular became a good friend of mine & I just love her so much!

Azerbaijan

This country was quite the adventure too! I felt great in this time. My logistics buddy and I had a success with debrief for the squad and was able to score some great deals. I also did my first break out session here-giving a message on loving each other well, and going the extra mile. I was also really tired in this time, haha!

Georgia

While in Georgia, my mom and dad came out! Thankful for them. I was growing in confidence for sure! There were a couple speaking engagements I committed to, one being how to share the gospel practically to people on the daily, and another being my personal testimony of growth this year. This time was hard emotionally, but good at the same time. It went by pretty quickly. I was also feeling pretty pooped out.

Turkey

In this country, I had my own room and this made me incredibly happy. What a gift that was. For parts of Turkey, I was stressed out and anxious, because I was needing to make some decisions about my future.

All the feelings flooded back of inadequacy and with the help of several friends, I was able to flush that out. In this time I made a decision to not pursue helping to Team Lead a world race squad going out in January 2019, but to instead, head back to the states and start work for She Walks in Truth. I loved Istanbul, it was an amazing City!

This month I learned how to play the guitar more and use that to help facilitate a worshipful atmosphere. That was cool! Overall, I was a happy camper.

Greece

I was just plain tired. It was really enjoyable to go and visit the old structures and places that Paul the Apostle walked. What a once in a lifetime opportunity! I felt unequipped for theological conversations. This inspired me to dig deeper and learn more.

Spain

It was a hard and challenging month. It was a time of reflection, exhaustion, and refreshment at the same time. I felt stripped bare, where in many cases I felt negativity rising in my mind, my flesh coming struggling to come out. I was stuffed up with emotional, physical, and I was weary.

I listened to so many podcasts that it got me overwhelmed with the loads of information in such a short period of time. I was in mental pain. I did not have a desire to talk with a lot of people, I was weary.

Then, I had a breakthrough moment & it changed. “I could do this everyday with you Lord if that meant I could worship you on and on” is a quote I found from hiking. I was reflecting on the fruit that had come out of this year with my “Fly” key, and saw that, much freedom really did happen this year!

Realizing that moving forward, I really am pursuing the God given dreams that have been laid on my heart. I was a mixed bag of emotions. Oh no, the race is almost over, and yay! The race is almost over, haha!

Morocco

The final month was one to remember. I was weary but also excited. Ready to dive all in. There were tough conversations. There was lot’s of reading and worship times. I brought my concerns and questions to God. I felt steadfast. I felt ready for the future ahead. I struggled with God. I told God I don’t like the hard conversations!

I don’t want to talk about these difficult spiritual topics with people the rest of my life. Why can’t it be just how it is, all truths are true. Why can’t everyone just know who you are then follow your goodness all the rest of their days. But it’s just not true. Why are humans broken. Why is this world broken. “Oh God, will you take this cup away from me, yet not my will, but yours be done” in regards to gospel centered conversations the rest of my life. The cost of it can mean friendships and relationships sometimes. It’s hard to come to terms with sometimes!  

Italy

What a wonderful time this was. My soul was at peace and rest entering into this country. It felt like the 2nd best decision I could have made for myself this year. A time to process, reflect, and enjoy a culture my family comes from, was such a gift. I was grateful for the solitude, it was much needed. My eyes have been tired and drowsy.

I think I need to really work on my bodies health upon return to the states. There were some funny moments I had by myself…that I wished someone was there to laugh with me about. But then I would realize, oh wait, Jesus you just saw that. Cool.

Though I did feel alone several times, it was a wonderful and needed growing experience. God met me there. I grew closer to God, and got to recap things like this blog for you and myself…as we wrap up this season of life together.

Overall

This year. I realize there was an incredible amount of grace on my life. With situations that could have turned real sour, they turned out great. The Joy of the Lord was my strength and positivity was my best friend! I look back now and like…did that really just happen?! All I can say is, thank you Jesus. Your grace is sufficient in my life.