Going the Extra Mile

 

 

Hey hey hey it’s me again, Kailey!

This week has been a wonderful week filled with a packed schedule of learning, teachings, prayer, worship, exploration, fun, and building some great relationships with locals in Azerbaijan. 

In this time I had an opportunity to do something called a “Break out session” with my squad. This is about a half hour chunk of time to share a teaching or encouragement of some sort in relation to growing in our faith walk. I had a blast typing up what I was planning to say, & figured since it’s all typed up, I could edit a little bit here & there & then share it with you too. Please read below 🙂

My hopes are that this blog post will put a smile on your face, maybe you laugh a little, & maybe you walk out feeling empowered, challenged, and equipped.

Equipped on how to become an even better version of yourself, that also can look a little more like the character of Jesus in the day to day life 🙂 Ready, set, go: 

Once upon a time, there were two sisters. Two sisters who loved each other dearly, yet had some challenges here & there. One of these challenges was on the hot topic of “borrowing clothes” from each other in the late teens, young adult years.

Long story short borrowing clothes was like going to war (okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration). Borrowing clothes was like walking on egg shells. 

The older sister would let her little sister borrow clothes *most the time, yet the younger sister seemed to get frustrated when the older sister wanted to other borrow her clothes, even though about half of them were hammy downs from that older sister. Can anyone relate? Haha. 

One day that older sister was fed up with the little sister not allowing her to borrow hardly any clothes. So, she decided to wear one of her white tank tops, this time without asking.

She justified…hey it’s fine. It’s only a tank top & plus, she should let me borrow, she should just change her ways.

Next thing you know, the little sister finds out that the older sister took her white tank top without asking, & she became furious. Not only did she notice that her white tank top was being used by her older sister without asking, but she noticed it also had a new stain on the front of it.

For the record, that older sister REALLY thought that stain was already there before. 

As silly as this whole situation is, this older sister tried to plea her kinda guilty case by saying something along the lines of “I needed a white tank top & I knew you wouldn’t let me borrow it in the first place so I decided just to take it, besides, you should share with me! It’s selfish not to!.”

Long story short, it was a complete mess of a fight between two sisters, both thinking they were right, unwilling to hear the other person out. 

Both sisters argued, & some things were said that really cut deep towards the older sister.

After the older sister realized the argument between them was getting nowhere, she argued a few things back, said some things she regretted later on, then decided to leave right then. They wouldn’t see each other until later that evening.

Now this older sister was frustrated, sad, disappointed, & discouraged. She had been trying to be a light to everyone around her. She was known for being kind & compassionate & a friend to many, but why out of all the people, was it so hard for her and her little sister to get along? They seemed to have tension quite a bit of the time & both sisters felt it. 

As that older sister was driving away, she started talking out loud in the car. She said, “God! What the heck just happened. Why is my little sister being selfish and why is there seem to always be tension between us?!” She went onto say, “God, what do I do?!”

& in that moment she heard a tender but sturdy voice respond, “My child, do you want your little sister to experience my love through you?”

She said, “YES! So much! I want her to experience your love through me God!”

& in that same moment she heard a voice say back to her “Then humble yourself & apologize to her.”

“WHAT?! Me?! apologize? After she was acting like that to me?” the older sister exclaimed

The response she heard back was “There is no need to justify your actions. It doesn’t matter what you think in this moment, it does not matter whether it was selfish or not, she did not feel respected or honored by you. You can love her & express value to her by apologizing”

What if I look like a suck up? “It doesn’t matter” said God.

It’s my little sister! i’m older! “It doesn’t matter” said God.

She’s the one acting selfish! “It doesn’t matter” said God

Well she should say sorry first since she actually tried to hurt me. “It doesn’t matter what she did, you are asking me how to love her best”, said God. 

It took that older sister another hour of driving or so to grapple all this in her head.

But by the end of the drive, she was convicted, repenting out loud, & full of ambition to make things right. This older sister decided she wanted to go the extra mile to show that little sister how much she loved her.

What did love look like in that moment. It looked like buying her little sister a brand new tank top. So she found herself in target parking lot, led to purchase not one but two brand new white tank tops (the exact same tank top she had wore!).

& walking through that Target store, something was happening on the inside. It went from a feeling of self righteousness to a state of humility. This older sister went from feeling defeated to victorious. She knew that she was walking in the heart of her heavenly father towards her little sister now.

After purchasing those two, tank tops, this older sister decided to also write a letter of apology. regardless of the situation and how silly it seemed, she did her best to humble herself.

All that mattered to her at that time was that she would do the right thing & that maybe just maybe, her little sister would also sense the love of God through her older sisters actions. 

Fast forward to later that day, the older sister arrived back where her little sister was, excited to give the apology letter & tank tops to her.

As the older sister was opening the car door to get out, she was surprised to see the little sister running up.

Barely getting out of the car, this little sister hugged the big sister so tight & said something along the lines of “I am sorry I was selfish & rude & mean to you. I don’t know why we always get in fights I love you so much sis!”

& in that same moment, that older sister, had the opportunity to say something along the lines of “it’s okay, I love you so much & am sorry for any of my actions that made you feel disrespected, or unloved, I don’t want you to feel that way about me”, then handed her the letter, & the two brand new tank tops.

This little sister, looked shocked & tears streamed down. She said “why did you do this you didn’t have to do this but this is the nicest thing thank you so much!”

“Because God loves you & your feelings are valid. He cares about you no matter what & so do I. I wanted to do my best to show that kind of love to you regardless of my opinion on what that situation was.”

Those two sisters were me, and my little sister Jordan years ago..(shout out to my beautiful & amazing little sista Jordan woot woot!) & in that time we truly bonded. Jordan totally received a glimpse of God’s love through that whole experience, as did I too. Our relationship has been different for the better since that time.

Are Jordan & I perfectly cool with each other all the time? Not always, but we sure are WAY closer than before. But will Jordan (or anyone in this case) know I am a christian by the way I choose to live & love others? You can bet I’m going to do everything in my power to try my best to represent that well.

This story, though quite silly initially, was a milestone in my life on desiring to live humbly & with an open heart for repentance & gratitude. God can use the silliest of situations to show us our very own flaws & imperfections but it doesn’t stop there.

How we choose to respond to certain situations can either speak life or death, they can either produce the fruit of the spirit within, or keep you stagnant & built up in a self righteousness, that really, just traps you up.

Today I titled this blog post as: Going the extra mile: discovering the beauty of repentance & expressing gratitude.

Pause. Did I really say the old and seemingly traditional R word? Yes, you betcha. But let me tell you something. I love this R word. This R word, keeps me humble & free. It is as alive today as it were from the beginning of humanity.

In Matthew 3:8 our friend John the Baptist, says “produce fruit in keeping up with repentance”. & while I believe the context of this passage is meant for turning to God in full surrender, I also believe it is applicable to how we confess and repent in our daily lives.

God urges us to live confession and repentance hand and hand as a lifestyle, he knows how good it is us for us & is literally essential for ALL Believers if they want to continue in spiritual growth and maturity.

Repentance, followed after confession, mentioned throughout the Bible is a heartfelt sorrow for sin followed by a sincere commitment to leave it and walk in obedience to Christ. It’s a change in direction. Sin does not fit in our lives because God has predestined that we “become conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom. 8:29). Whenever we sin, Holy Spirit convicts us so we can confess and repent. We should never ignore, tolerate, accept, or practice what we know to be sinful. This also includes laying down our own self righteousness or pride in any given situation. It doesn’t matter how nit-picky it is.

It is in the small daily choices we make in which I believe produces the character fruit over time.

Guys. There is so much room for growth and spiritual maturity whether we are at work 6 days a week or traveling around the world. If you don’t think that you can grow in the ordinary day of things, I encourage you to think again.

Let’s widen our perspective of what “growth” & “Spiritual maturity” can look like.

Colossians 3:23-34 says Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.  That means working for the Lord in everything, including relationships too. You are serving Lord of Lords, the Holy of Holy’s. Who are we to choose who to love well & who to not?

I want to encourage you to go that extra mile with the people around you.

Is there someone you could possibly apologize too? Think about that person in the workplace you just don’t seem to click with so get instead are a bit rude towards them, or even apathetic. Think again on if your justification of being rude or apathetic is valid… or just merely an excuse to avoid the actual issue of the heart.

Is there an ugly that you’ve seen come out and don’t want anymore? Reflect on your reactions when someone or something rubs you the wrong way.

Maybe you’ve had silly situations like my little sister and I’s fight and didn’t handle it the best you could (I think we’ve all been there). Whatever it may be, there is something we could all improve on. Confession & repentance is a great start.

You are a powerful person. You are a servant leader. You are a messenger of the gospel wherever you go & that includes your attitude, your choice of character, & your respect towards other people.

Don’t take my word for it, simply looks to 1st Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When you confess and repent for a wrong that means you are honoring  someone above yourself.

When you confess and repent for a wrong that means you showing humility.

When you confess and repent for a wrong, you are showing kindness.

When you confess and repent for a wrong, you are preserving that relationship.

When you confess and repent for a wrong, you are protecting that person.

Confession and Repentance are good, friend. No matter how big or small.

Repentance is meant to be literally life changing for the better. God had his best intentions in mind when teaching us about this in the bible through various historical characters we are all familiar with.

Our brother in Christ James says, (James 5:16) Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Our homeboy Ephraim in Jeremiah 31:19 after recognizing his mess ups in life stated, “I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my chest… Boom. This is good. He repented of his behavior towards God.

These are just several examples of SOOOO many from the bible of real humans expressing the importance of Confession and repentance.

If you let God work through the flaws and weaknesses, something beautiful can really happen and bloom. We are called to love, not just tolerate guys. This is what sets us apart. As my good Friend (Shout out to Chris Maybury!) once said, “at the end of my life I want to say that I lived a life of learning to love.” But in order to really do that, we must make Confession and Repentance also a lifestyle.

This is good stuff guys. I promise, it is totally worth it.

If you start this idea of lifestyle confession and repentance today, it will benefit you forever. This is our perfect opportunity to work this muscle here and now. Don’t let your pride or self righteousness get in the way of that, no matter how big or small the issue may seem.

Not only are we called to go the extra mile with repentance, but also gratitude & I am under the conviction that one way to do this is expressing appreciation towards one another. My understanding is that as we develop a humble heart through confession and repentance, the capacity within to share our gratitude with one another widens. Kinda cool, right?!

Hebrews 10:24-25: says “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” One way you can encourage someone is by calling out what you appreciate about them. It does not matter whether you are simply acquaintances or best friends, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by affirming another human.

Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This is good. Expressing gratitude and choosing to see the gold in someone can really help a relationship, no matter how challenging it may be. God sees the gold in that person, that means we can too. Because, Christ, Yahweh, God with us, is residing inside of us too. We have the capacity to love a lot like Jesus loves. How crazy it that.

In conclusion, I am leaving you off with a few pointers that have significantly helped me in the past, present, and hopefully future. My hopes are from these tips you feel Equipped on a practical level on how to look a little more like the love of Jesus through your day to day relationships, the rest of your life 🙂

Pointer #1: In challenging situations, try your best step into another’s shoes & get a sense on how they may feel. Seek to really understand where that person is coming from. I did my best to do that with my little sister a long time ago-& my outlook on the entire situation changed significantly.

Pointer #2: In a challenging relationship, ask God for his heart towards that person. He will give it to you, oh i promise. I also did that with my little sister, & he sure did.

Pointer #3: In the time that you realize “uh oh, probably shouldn’t have said that or acted that way” Say sorry to whom it’s due…OUT LOUD…& then take ownership of that behavior. Confess, repent, live, pray, eat, sleep, repeat, haha!

Yes, confess and repent EVEN if it’s small & seems petty to you. It’s a good practice. & the only thing you lose is a bit of pride, but you can bet your money you’ll gain a whole lot of humility in the process. Haha! I say this from experience, though it may be hard at first, it will humble the heck outta ya in the best way.

Pointer #4 Express your gratitude more often. No joke, studies have shown that people who build lasting relationships often have a lifestyle of expressing their gratitude regularly to those they meet and interact with. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s a “Hey I appreciate that you care about the team & are intentional about having team time” or “Hey I appreciate your self discipline. Express it, just because.

Digging even deeper, I challenge you to find something you’re grateful for, about the person that’s most challenging to you on this squad…then go & SAY IT!

May we never forget what our perfect, heavenly father spoke through our homie Paul. [Romans 12:10] He said, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” As well as our friend Peter, [1 Peter 4:8] “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Friend, I challenge you to express that sorrow through confession and repentance.

& my friend, I challenge you to express gratitude out loud, even to the people who may challenge you most.

Let’s do our best to represent Him well & together, lets go the extra mile through discovering the beauty of repentance and expressing gratitude out loud. Amen? Amen 🙂

Thanks for tuning in, next blog I will be sending you an update on what my time in Azerbaijan was like, as well as Georgia with MOM & DAD! You rock, friend! 

With love, 

Kailey