On the Edge of Breakthrough

Hey friend! It’s me again! 

First off, I apologize for another blog in less than a week. I don’t know what’s happening, it’s like I can’t stop recording and writing! It’s so fun to me & I absolutely love sharing stories with you in the hopes that it brings encouragement. This time, this blog is a little different, its more of what I have been learning lately. For some reason, I felt like for at least one of you who are receiving these emails, that this specific post may cheer your heart up or encourage you some how, someway. Here we go:

I hope this blog update finds you well today. When I was typing out this blog, I was on a big sleeper charter bus, traveling across Kazakhstan’s desert land. Did I mention in my previous update that it is a 3 day journey (70+ hours!). It had been a fun, challenging, relaxing, and enduring ride.

The time had been nice. We each had a little sleeper bunk on top where I used that space to spend time reading, writing, praying, planning, and dreaming with God.

The views out the window have been full of desert looking land, wild horses, camels, sheep, and cattle. Yes I said Camels! Can you imagine the combination? I love it!

To give you a bit more of an idea of what the road trip has been like, food stops have been about once or twice a day, where we eat traditional Kazakhstan food. I think I’ve ate lamb for every meal so far. Bathroom breaks look like finding a rock to hide behind in the prairie land, or paying 50 tenge (about 30 cents) for a squatty potty in which the smell is less than ideal. With a total of 28 of us on the bus, you can imagine these stops take a little bit of time!

There’s quite a language barrier with our drivers, so that has been a bit challenging, never less, it’s been a good time making friends & doing our best to share the love of Jesus with them.

As I am currently, and have been sitting here, I found myself contempalating “What is God’s will for my vocational life?” Big question I know.

What I do know is that I desire to share Jesus Christ to this world. All encompassing that, I want to empower, encourage, & help spread joy!

There are so many options, various doors, countless possibilities of what could be, & sometimes it feels like the most exciting wonder, & other times it brings more of a headache than anything trying to figure it out.

This question, “What is God’s will for me vocationally?” sometimes brings more nagging than joy & I am under the conviction that, that is not God’s problem by any means, but on me.

As I am sitting here I realize that I am ready to leave this worry mentality-With the things I aspire to accomplish in this lifetime, I truly don’t have time for it (& either do you, friend!).

So where does that leave me? It leaves me on the edge of breakthrough. & that is exciting stuff.

So how does one go from, exchanging worries of the “what is my vocational calling” to “I trust you God & I am capable of making healthy, wise and adventurous decisions for my life with you centered in it all. I trust you in everything.”

My conclusion. Prayer. Surrender. & choosing JOY.

When I choose to pray more than I research. When I choose to verbally out loud surrender my preconceived plans to God & say, “not my will but yours be done.” When I choose to believe that God is a good Father, he won’t leave me hanging & he’s excited for me & for my future… joy, peace, and rest within comes.

I love it. It’s a reminder that I am not alone. It’s a reminder that Yaweh is with us. It’s a reminder that there is a good, good Father totally present & interested in the desire of our hearts. This is so much better than trying to figure it out on my own.

While I have not totally discovered the details of “What is my vocational calling in life” In this past year especially, I have re-discovered passions, interests, and hobbies that have stirred me to dream big & never loose the wonder of what could be. My job is to simply take one step at a time.

& in this process of reflection, a few insights have come to mind that I hope to stick with in life & pray these things will also encourage you too.

1. Sometimes our vocational callings may not be a clear cut answer.

2. Sometimes our vocational callings will be a clear cut answer.

3. Sometimes there are baby steps getting to that “calling” but don’t neglect the journey of getting there because you’re so caught up in reaching the destination. There are nuggets of gold in store for us everywhere, if we just look!

4. Sometimes I wonder if God is actually wanting me to learn that He enjoys providing different options for us to choose from. Maybe, just maybe, God is wanting to restore something within that by empowering me to make a decision & trust that He is there waiting on the other side to congratulate & cheer me on too. [I think I know the answer to this one]

5. & then again sometimes I fight back and say “No God, your will is good & it always is good, I am fine with you making all the decisions for me, & I will just follow, I like this way better I think”. [hmmmm]. If I’m really honest with myself, i’d rather have everything all set in stone so I don’t need to worry & that something else, in this case “God” will make a decision for me. Can you relate on this at all? But hold on. Pause. There is a deeper issue of the heart here. I think the deeper issue is i’ll admit, I sometimes struggle to trust that I will make “the right” decision. & that is the exact thing I feel sometimes God might be helping me to break away from. Interesting right?

In conclusion, I am reminded of this: it is my choice to worry. It is my choice to be anxious in making decisions. It is my choice to fret. & the truth is, I don’t have to fret or worry whether God clear as crystal glass guided me into the next job or if he left many options open for me. Because God has the best intentions in mind for us, He is better than GOOD & we can rest in that.

All I need to do is Pray. Surrender. & choose JOY. I am done with the old ways, & moving toward a renewed mind in this area. There is nothing to worry about, truly!

If you’d like, check out this podcast from Pastor Bill Johnson on the subject. I

Click HERE 🙂

What are the things you are worrying about, friend? Is there something that has a habit of nagging you, that has been there for a while? Today is the day to surrender that to the Lord. Why worry if you don’t have to? Give that one to Jesus & let that truly renew your mind. You’re created to be a world changer, we don’t have time to dwell in these worries any longer 🙂

Thank you for tuning in!

Until next time,
Kailey 

P.S. Sometimes we just gotta face that fear head on. Recently had a few small but big breakthroughs in my life too! 1) For the first time this year, I led several worship songs on the guitar for my squad. That was big for me in breaking out of a fear mentality! 2) It was laid on my heart to lead a breakout session during debrief to my squad. What does this mean? It means I will prepare and give a public speech/encouragement to my brothers & sisters. Ahh! I am nervous & excited. But mostly excited 🙂